Lake C 2021

I have said everything I need to say, I have told you the basis of what I know. I do not want to keep saying it, that is the thing. So maybe in the future it will be questions only. I tried to set the tonE of the questions with the chapter. Just so the questions were a little focused. Soon you will have a 800 page book, you will see more or less everything I knew. If you excuse me, I am just going to say: the few quotes I have put in there - I think it defines what has to be done, more than anything else. It is called methods and exercises.

The first quote is from Ni Hua Ching He said: “I teach purification. Just sitting quietly or practising strong awareness as some people do and hoping it will lead to spiritual development is superstition.” Actually to me he said wishful thinking, I put superstition. Just to put this quote in perspective, that is what he told me when he came to stay with me in Byron Bay, Australia which is like the old Hippie Center of Australia. Every spiritual group had a group there. All of the Neo-Ramana Maharshi people were there, who just sit there in space, every spiritual group you can imagine were there and most of them were just doing this, sitting there. Satsang, as it is called. And he said it is a type of spiritual wishful thinking. They are sitting there in this blank state hoping to evolve. Then he added: Teachers who sit and say nothing just make the students more dependent on themselves. Because there is all those teachers that sit around there running those things sitting in front, staring into space and the students stare into space. The implication is that some energy is going out and transforming the people. He said it makes the students more depended on the teacher. Ni Hua Ching said it is not a good thing to do. He said that as a teacher it is better to say what has to be done and it is the students responsibility to do it. When people come to see him, he can tell you in twenty minutes what you have to do in the next year. He has a good perception of what is going on in your life and he tells you what to do and you go away and do it for a year, because it takes about at least a year to change something substantial. And Mouniji said something similar. People come and sit with him, hoping to get something from him. He allowed them to come and sit with him, it is an Indian tradition. He said they were coming, hoping to get something from him. He said there is some benefit from the energy field, but they should really come and get the benefit and go away and work on themselves in their life. It is like a small boost. Like here, you come get a boost and then go and work on that. That was the first quote. So we are talking now about the methods and the exercises, so that is one that people used. There is a bit in the text about that. You sit and hope the energy coming in is going to transform you. Ni Hua Ching said this is spiritual wishful thinking.

The next one is from Ramana Maharshi He said: “Owing to fluctuations within the innate tendencies” - innate means, that it is a part of you. tendencies - is essentially you you are. You cannot just change who you are. You cannot suddenly move in a different way as you see. You can do it if an outer movement, but you cannot suddenly move in a different way just like that. The body is going to move in the same way. You can do something different in your life, but you are going to do it the same way. You can go to another town, but you are going to live there in the same way as in the other ones. So due to you innate, in-build tendencies “realisation takes time to steady itself.” So you have to do the work and wait for things changing inside yourself and it takes time for it to happen. Even a simple movement, you cannot just change it like that, but you work in one class for a small change. You keep some pressure on to work on it. Then you have to wait for the inner structures to slowly rearrange themselves. There is a time factor you cannot escape. It takes time for what you really want to do to become a part of yourself. The innate things will block it. Then he said: Spasmodic realisation is not enough to prevent rebirth.” Just because sometimes you really get in a deep state, feel like you are in some special condition, then you come out of it again, it is normal. Everybody has that in times during their life. Then you have the people who have that and then say they are enlightened and go about, spreading what they do not really know to masses of people. Many teachers in the world are like that. There were in sort of a mess, had a moment of clarity, consider it enlightenment and then they think they are enlightened. So it was very clear to Ramana Maharshi that this “spasmodic” moments of clarity and depth doesn’t mean you are enlightened and it is not enough to prevent rebirth to have these moments. Something much more steady has to change in yourself. And these moments of realisation can’t become permanent as long as there are innate tendencies, as long as you haven’t really purified yourself, as long as you haven’t changed those tendencies, that restrict you life. So he said that “in the presence of a sage the innate tendencies cease to be active for a time.”People would come and sit with Ramana Maharshi and he was more or less doing what Ramana Maharshi said not to do, so let people sit with him, and they would experience some benefit from the energy field of the group of people and of Ramana Maharshi. And the innate tendencies, they ceased to be active for a time. So you go into a very quiet state, everything seems much better, but they haven’t really gone away. That is the problem with that thing. That is why Master Ni said, you have to go away and purify these things. “But if this is to be permanently established further effort is necessary.” So Ramana Maharshi was very clear. The tendencies are purified through effort. Yes, these moments of clarity and depth are useful and important, but they are not actually the thing that changes you. It is the effort. It is the effort to purify yourself, the effort to refine the innate tendencies. That is the true work on yourself. These people have summed up what real work on yourself is better than i can.

Then Master Ni, a further quote (said to me personally) “Normal life is above all special exercises.” To live your life in a more pure manner is the highest exercise. I will add some on that a little bit later. I can add now, that when Master Ni first came, he gave a talk in front of about one hundred people or more, and someone asked: “What do you really do to develop yourself?” He repiled: ”There is no one thing that he could say. Your whole life, how you life your whole life. “Then that will result in your level of development. There are special exercises, but that is just a part of it. How you live your life is what you are now. And at the end of your life, how you lived your whole life, that will determine where you are. Whereas people may thing there are these special exercises and you enter the inner worlds and you become a Grandmaster, these are imaginary types of things that people have.

The next quote is referring to - cause it is the only place I have really seen somebody who described something about the 4th initiation. This text is about one thousand years old - a Chinese man - that has been retained. He wrote a book about all the secrets that you needed to know, but no one could understand that, too complex. Many people tried to write commentaries about it, explaining parts. He was apparently a highly developed person.

“This is called extinction which is full of bliss. This extinction is neither death nor annihilation.” - he is talking about the death of the ego. It is extinction, but it is neither death nor annihilation. The Sufis call it annihilation. You are annihilated in God, that is what they say. So we are talking now about something that is beyond people.

“It is absolute voidness” - that means complete emptiness, “which is not empty.” - This is the way they talk. And then he said: “When snow does seem to dance in space, white flowers appear to fall from the sky, this is the time to come out of the fetus.” Who knows what that means.

One of the teachers who went through the 4th initiation, the Sufi, not ever have read this or course, said at the time white snow appeared to fall out of the sky, the whole sky became full with white snow that was falling. And he was told by his teacher this was the sign of what was taking place. So his teacher who already passed that. So when i showed him this old text, he said that this man was obviously passed the 4th initiation. But normal people read it and it doesn’t make any sense. And i am only giving this detail, there was more than white snow coming out of the sky. Certain signs and things that took place. I put that quote at the end, because that is really the end of the book. There is nothing really written for what happens after that one.

So we were talking about the spiritual exercises. First of all it is your whole life, how you live your whole life. I did want to add one thing - yes there are special exercises, but it is really how you live your live that makes the difference. You can’t just do half an hour of meditation each day and do these special exercises and get in special states and then go off and live a normal gross life, being selfish and pushy and everything else. Your whole life will determine where you are. Sitting in a mindless state that is the spiritual wishful thinking. Or a teacher sitting in front of his students asking them to go into that mindless state and claiming to put his energy onto them- that is a mistake for the teacher and for the students.

The last time I saw Master Ni he said that normal life is above any exercise. He said the highest exercise is “to rest in the mother”. He said that there are special meditations for moving the energies inside, for becoming aware on the etheric level, on the deep emotional and deep mental. There are special exercises for gaining special powers on each of these levels. These have been given out in the traditions for years. They have usually been kept secret. He said they all carry danger. Some practitioners manage to train them and escape the dangers and some people don’t escape the dangers. He said its best to “rest in the mother”. He is really meaning do the very, very central things. I will put it in my words: The central things like we do, without the special exercises that develop special side things. The meditation we do is meant to cover the very, very basic essential things. When you do that and purify your outer life and slowly bring these things into your outer life, that will give a balanced growth inside yourself. I am quite sure about that.

For example the old yogi had special exercises. He did the Kundalini yoga. As a result of the Kundalini Yoga, at an early stage you can leave your body. Not like people travel in their mind, but go out of the body in a complete way, so you essentially die. He said when you do not come back you will just die. He had special exercises for this and other things. He wanted me to stay and learn them. And Abdullah wanted me not to stay and learn them for these reasons. For the reasons like Master Ni said. These are special exercises that seem to give you accelerated results in a certain direction, but it would interfere with the deep and smoother inner growth. It would give you results in growth on the deep emotional level, but we are looking for something higher than that. Mouniji stayed in the deep emotional for about 50 years. So there are special exercises, you could go out and search for them, that give special powers. You could exit the body and live in the deep emotional realm like somebody who is dead. Mouniji said he was used to seeing people going in and out of their bodies, watch things happening around the world and so on. And as a result it took him a long time to pass through that one.

So now I am just speaking generally about internal development. So you need some essential practises. So I narrowed the meditation down to some work in the deep body level, the sensations, something in the etheric, you get some awareness, you use some intention, very simple, then the deep emotional. You energise it, you build some awareness, you use some intention and then the deep mental is similar, and then the connection beyond. It is just the very basic, the essential things that can be done on each of the levels. You need to energise them, build the awareness and train some intention so you start to learn on that level.

One important thing that I have taught: the physical etheric world, the lower soul is a dangerous place. So it is better not to train out in the wider etheric world. There are ways to train powers to see into the etheric world easily. It is one of the easiest things to do. When you start to look into it, the beings there take notice, you are interacting with them, now they can interact with you. That becomes very dangerous, because the beings on that level are a big variety, but it is very low level. It is dead people, it is the jinns, it is the shamans, black magicians, all sorts of things, some white magicians, some people who help, some people who harm. So for the etheric level it is better to just train inside your own body and your own etheric body. In the deep emotional world is a much more reasonable place, already a better world. Half of the dead people of the world are not accessing it. You can train and send out the light to other people in the deep emotions, to connect with other people is a good thing to do, but to connect with other people and beings on the etheric is a very dangerous thing to do. In the deep emotional and above is quite satisfactory. This is the one general thing that i wanted to add, that I have told you before.

Q: Can we say that taiji is a kind of purification?
A: It is a kind of purification, initially on the physical etheric level. It evolves and energises the self on the physical etheric level. That forms the basis of all higher development. If a person doesn’t have a good physical etheric level, then the basis for the next levels developing wouldn’t be as good.

Q: Can you explain a bit more the nature of the third force of the sun?
A: You know I have been saying recently - because i think it is true and gives a good concept of it - that our Spirit is like a child of the sun. That is the first thing. And then every being that we know of and that my teachers know of and sometimes they ask people that are beyond them, operates on these three forces. So every being we know in our system is a three force being. So for us it is obvious that there is this intelligence. I got inter neurones that process things, motor neurones and sensory neurones. So we are aware of things, the awareness is receptive, and things go out this is the intention, intention aspect has almost no awareness. Our motor nerves just make us do something, not aware of what we do. It is the sensory nerves that give us that information and it is the inter neurones that can process this information. So in the physical body there are these three aspects of one intelligence you might say. And it is very clear. Maybe it is a big jump in the analogy of the three forces of the sun, but it is roughly the same. The 1st force of the sun, the intention, it maintains the balance of the solar system, so it is more than just a simple set of nerves, but something that is quite big and quite complex, that would have many beings functioning to assist it. And the second force of the sun, which is the receptive one builds consciousness into the system, so the consciousness aspect of the sun builds consciousness into the system. That is the slow raising of consciousness, things gradually become more conscious. From a worm to a snake, from a snake to a dog, from a dog to a human and beyond things become more conscious. The raising of consciousness is the work of the 2nd force of the sun. And actually most people who have developed themselves then become involved in assisting the slow evolution of humanity over ten, or hundreds of thousands of years. And the third force of the sun, that is the intelligence being aspect that is involved in the accelerated in the development of a small proportion of the system. That again has beings who assist it, because it is a very high thing, that is just to big to work on an individual level. So it has beings on every level that are assisting it. The 3rd force of the sun, that is what Alice Bailey called the 1st force, just to put it in perspective. So the 3rd force of the sun assists every more or less esoteric group. Every group where people are trying to make a special effort. Religions come after the 2nd force of the sun, just the general, slow evolution. Religions just maintain the connection to their Spirit which lifts them up very slowly. The 3rd force offers an accelerated growth. It comes down through a chain of developed people. So usually for a group to be under the 3rd force of the sun it would require that the teacher had at least a certain level. The teacher should at least be past the 3rd initiation or they couldn’t transmit the 3rd force of the sun themselves. They would then have to have a teacher that was managing that group. So there could be like an instructor in the group, but there was a bigger teacher who was managing it, if they were still alive. But for a group to functions independently as an esoteric group the teacher would need to have passed the 3rd initiation, then they would the able to receive the 3rd force of the sun and that would come through other beings.

Q: Why is the word etherial used to describe the body realm and why is the word astral used to describe the emotional realm? Celestial seems kind of obvious because it is a point in the sky.
A: Celestial means heaven. The heaven of the christians or the muslims is the deep mental realm. People usually don’t use the word etherial, but “etheric realm”, and i do not know why. You know the Indians have another set of words for these realms. The arabs have another set of words to describe it. It is just terms and i do not know why. I can just add that in Chinese, jing, qi ans shen are the Chinese terms, but often they use qi for the whole system. Some might say jing, qi, shen, but the average people say qi for the whole thing, the take the central one. And the average people in the western mysticism when they say the astral they mean the three worlds and may be talking about any one of them without knowing. They mean this whole inner system. They might say astral travelling, but usually that is just etheric travelling, but the are not separating it. So you can separate it in the etheric, the astral and the celestial. And you can call the whole thing the astral. Astral means stary. Etheric i don’t know back to what the meaning is. They are just words.

Q: What if it happened accidentally that a person open for himself the etheric world, how could it then be repaired again?
A: There is more than a few cases of people that were hit by lightning and suddenly they see the dead people walking around. More than a few cases, this is like a very common thing. Strange, but lightning seems to carry more than the external electricity, must carry some high energy of the deeper levels as well. It burns through the veil, that we get given, that gets pulled over our eyes when we get here. Veils are part of the conditions of coming here. We willingly allow the deep emotional to be blocked out, the etheric to be blocked out, so that we are forced to concentrate on the physical. To recapture the etheric vision is really to go against the conditions that you have accepted. It sometimes happens accidentally. It is like common for children to see these things, then they lose it when they get older. When people develop themselves it might just happen without them intending it. Then special exercises can do it. When it happens without you intending it, it just stays in the background. When i used to sit with Abdullah he used to say: “There is somebody over there. There is people hanging around.” That old Chinese teacher that i told you about, i did the Chinese yoga with, he had specialised in that field a little bit, so he saw these people all the time, talked to them and so on. It didn’t help him in this case. Abdullah said, he just always ignores them, treats them, as if they were not there. He said sometimes he gets people who can travel. in their mind, call it astral travel, they come on the etheric realm, they come sneeking around. He ignores them completely. So these teachers didn’t go into it, they just took it as something in the background. So if someone accidentally gets that power, just keep it in the background. There is dead people all around, a lot of people have died. There is jinns around. You just leave them in the background and don’t concentrate on them of think of them. So start to attract them if you do.

Q: In your everyday life you can train your three brains, but how do you train the minds?
A: You have to begin with what you have got, on the level on which you are conscious. You can only work on the level on which you are conscious. You got this body, you got a thinking mind, you can feel emotions, that is basically what you got to start with. And that is how you begin. You aim to refine your awareness and functioning of the body. So in movement, instinctively, the health, you aim to increase the awareness and the refinement, the subtle action of your emotional interactions which mostly take place between people. A certain amount just goes on inside yourself. It is usually stimulated and, just like physical actions, largely take place between people, but can take place otherwise. So emotional interactions mostly take place between people. And you gradually increase your awareness and your subtle interactions with people, become more positive, more smooth, and same with the mental thinking. You beginn with the thinking. How to refine thinking? That is already a subject. Actually Ouspensky said something good. He said that peoples thoughts are too short. They spend a short time thinking about something and then they think about something else. So he said you should have long thinking. You come to a subject, you think about it and then you just forget it, you think about it for longer, deeper, you do not seem to understand it, but the more you think about it, the more you will understand. Then you think about it the next day and the next day. Once you get a subject you really feel you need to know something about you keep investigating it. You do not just jump from one to another. Just to jump from one to another won’t develop the thinking. So Abdullah called it pondering. You could just take a subject that is really important, something that is connected to the essential nature of you life, not just some irrelevant thing. Because if you think about some irrelevant thing you will develop the thinking ability, but you receive no help from the corresponding minds, because they are not interested in that subject. But when you try to think deeply on, say deep emotional things, you start to interact with the deep emotional mind this way. It will start to get involved. You will be able to think more deeply, like when we get to the deep emotional state and we bring the difficult events of the day in and we try to understand them and think of them, bring it in the meditation, multiple times the same one, try to understand it from a deep level, then that will evolve the thinking connected with the deep emotions. You become more intelligent by thinking deeply and long about important subjects, important in a deep sense, that you pull in the activity of the minds, the minds on the deep emotional and deep mental levels. Without that contribution you just have this tripple brain brilliant thoughts that people come up with and destroy the world. You won’t have the truly deep thinking. Truly deep thinking will only happened, when you are on the subjects, that call in the deeper parts of yourself. When you think deeply about some important subject in that way, that help will come through from these parts and you start to realise things that you couldn’t do otherwise work out from your normal brain. So that is the way you develop the deep thinking or the intellect. Someone like Abdullah wasn’t highly educated. He went to university for short time to do music. But when i met him, i was in mathematics and i thought i was quite smart at thinking, my thinking was completely hopeless compared with his. When we had a subject, the students would ask a question and i wouldn’t know what to say, and he would come up with things that were associated with it, when he said it i realised how true they were, but i couldn’t possibly have thought of them, couldn’t have had the thought process that would have done it. And Mouniji at 105 years old, where peoples brains go to mush or something, he was many times more intelligent than anyone around him. Master Ni at 120 years old, when i talk with him, you feel like a child in your thinking. It is not just this triple monkey brain that is working. It is the minds on the level which are all contributing in getting these information. These things are much bigger than this brain here. When the brains develop up to seven years old, that is the physical etheric brain. For the brains to go beyond that - you know i was talking about this person, who would come to Abdullah and he said, that he was seven years old in his brain, he was a very well functioning person in his life, but he had no knowledge at all about anything internal. Later he sort of fell astray, wasn’t able to do much. From seven to fourteen, it is mainly the contribution of parts of the deep emotional. The intellect, the emotions and the moving part of the deep emotions contribute to the growth of the brains. When they combine you come about to fourteen years old. When it combines with the deep mental component the brain can go about to twenty one years old, so that is a fully functioning mind brain within the deep mental. That is the development of the brains, that incorporates the minds. Fully developed tripple monkey brain is about a seven year old and that is why Mouniji was - there were engineers and mathematicians and all sorts of things among his students, but they were like children compared with his ability to understand situations and know what to do. And the same with Master Ni. People around him are like children. And the people around Abdullah were like children. He said most of this students were infants. That means less than seven years old in the parts of themselves. Because we think seven years old is not very smart, but that is a fully functioning adult brain without any deep parts contributing. That is my talk about the brains and minds.

Q: Ouspensky also talks about self remembering. I feel you do not mean the same when you talk about self remembering in your book.
A: Ouspensky was one of Gurdijeffs students. There was a long and complicated history between them. Ouspensky, he was Russian, Gurdijeff was - we call him Russian at the time, but i don’t know if we should call him Russian, he was from that part of the world. Ouspensky had written thick books like “The origin of the world” and about the understanding of the interrelations of inner things and so on before he met Gurdijeff. Actually Gurdijeff said, that tif Ouspenksy had really understood what he has written, then Gurdijeff would become his student. Of course Ouspensky had written these books, but of course to really understand the subjects much more. So Ouspensky interpreted Gurdijeffs teaching and he was a very important person in writing about it and interpreting it. I think he was a very good person, Ouspenksy, but he had some break with Gurdijeff. Not a real one. He still went to see him, but people didn’t know. So one of the bog ideas that Gurdijeff had was self remembering. To remember ones Self. That is actually a Sufi idea. To remember yourself, to remember God, to remember your Higher Self, is really all the same thing. But to remember yourself could be brought down to a very low level and the lowest level it means self observation. To use this quite watchful mind, to watch yourself in your outer mind, split a little bit off, so you watch yourself talking now, watch your gestures, you watch how you are feeling and things. Yu watch yourself a little bit so you learn about yourself. If it is done with the quiet superficial mind it is best called self observation. It can be a useful first step to know what you are doing. Some people are always lost in what they are doing, other do self observation out of fear, watching what they are doing all the time rather than just acting naturally. Self remembering has many levels. I wrote it in here. First true level is self sensing, when you listen deep inside the body. That is the awareness that builds on the physical etheric level. The next true level is self feeling you might say. When you remember how you are feeling inside. As i am listening to my body as i am moving i am self sensing. If i am listing inside to my deeper emotions are running as i go about my normal life, then i am self feeling. And if i am listening into the deep mental, which is much more difficult while you go about your normal life, that is the true self remembering. The self remembering is that complete system. When you listen deep inside yourself in a natural way in your everyday life that is self remembering. Remembering your Higher Self. I do not know what to say really. it is one of the things i meant to say, that is important in self development. Master Ni was saying: The highest exercise is to remember the mother. Is is higher than any other exercise. All the special exercises of doing things they all carry dangers. He is using mother in the sense of God in a way, it is another word for the divine presence. To not forget the divine presence. So if you go about your life and you can remember the divine presence, or the more often you remember the divine presence in your life, that is the main exercise you can do. The meditation and remembering the divine presence in the background. It can be remembered through self sensing, self feeling and something a little bit higher. These are, along with the exercises that we do, the most important, they will slowly pull you up combined with the energy that comes down from the third force of the sun. So you do your exercises, which involve purification as well, purifying the things in life and then remembering the divine presence - whatever that means. The deep sense of whats behind life at this moment. So the more you do the meditation, the more you listen deeply inside yourself, you realise there is something present all the time. That is the Divine Presence. So remembering that is what the Sufis call self remembering. I had actually forgotten, that i intended to stress the importance of that in this seminar. There is one other thing that i attached to that - i said at the beginning of the workshop, that something very important is you have to collect all your life around what is important, to aim it all towards the same thing. So when you are here, or when you go to your job, or you are looking after the baby or you are looking after whatever, you are on holidays, no matter what, you have some hobbies maybe, there is work you must do on this side - in order not to have these scattered personalities, that sort of pull your life in all directions and the just this little part that does the meditation and this tiny part that does the taiji practise each day and then you are lost in life again…so in order for that not to happen you have to coordinate you life, so the energy is all directed towards one thing, you have to remember that one thing. You have to remember the one thing, while you do the other things. You have to remember why you are here basically. That is putting it in one term. But the other term is, you have got to remember the Divine Presence. Divine Presence you can take as your own Divine Self, that is always present in the background. If you can somehow remember your own Divine Presence, you can call it your Divine Presence or you can think of it what fills the room, if you remember this in whatever you do, that will keep your energies concentrated on the one thing. So that is what i meant in the beginning. Find a way that anything you do is somehow connected with your main purpose, your main purpose is remembering what you are here for. The thing itself is to retain some awareness of the Divine Presence. That is the highest sense you can have of the high things in yourself.

Q: What is the difference between keeping the connection through the top of your head to your Higher Self and remembering your Higher Self?
A: Actually they are very close, to be honest. What exactly is the difference. One is more specific exercise. People are doing that one and let's say eighty percent of their concentration is on that one. For normal life you need the background awareness and to put your concentration in normal life and become more efficient, more subtle, more purified. So you are training the Taiji and you have to remember in whatever way you can the Divine Presence. That one is a specific exercise to connect with the Divine Presence you might say. And it does not go away when you stop the connection. That is always there.

Q: It looks really tricky, or maybe carry big danger - how can i realise the flavour of the Divine Presence in my daily life?
A: The mediation gives you the states. You have to recapture any of the states in the background, while you still manage your daily life. You can retain a sense of your body while you go about your daily life. That would be remembering the Divine Presence of the physical etheric level. Because that is the life that has come down to your body through the levels. If you could remember something like from the deep emotional level when you are back in your normal life, then that would be remembering the Divine Presence on that level. That would probably be the best that most people manage and occasionally you could slip into a very deep state, deeper than that. If you can, self sensing, self feeling and self remembering from the deep mental, all components of the remembering of the Divine Presence. That is the Divine Presence on each of the levels. I have a little story that relates to that, a personal story. There was a time, maybe i have told people before, there was a time, where i had a strange conflict with Abdullah. It is not unusual, 40 years, 35 years, you have teachers, you sometimes have a strange tension between for one reason or another. So some tensions developed, i do not remember the full details of it, and that put a tremendous pressure on me, because he was my teacher and i had absolute faith in him. I think he made a mistake, but i also made a mistake. But you notice the other persons mistake more. I felt unjustly accused, that is a very difficult emotion that can a strong and quite difficult to escape. Because you feel unjustly accused you are disturbed, because it is unjust, but there was probably some justice in it. So i had probably deserved some of it, but i didn’t deserve some of it. That is the bit that disturbed me. And there was quite a strong deep emotional tension between us. I worked on it, i did not just run away from it. And as a result of it, for some days i went into a strange state, where the Divine Presence became extremely strong, i couldn’t even let it go, in an extremely weird way. So in one of the meetings i talked about it to Abdullah and he said: “That is wrong, you must’n do it.” And then he said: “That is ok, you can continue it.” and the he said: “But i still think it is wrong. And you shouldn’t do it.” And actually the people didn’t know what he was talking about. But i knew what he was talking about. Because he himself believed it was the wrong thing. But then he was told -he talked about it to me a year later or something - he was told inside himself, that in this case, for this moment, it was the right thing. But then he had to put in his own will afterwards again, that he thought it was the wrong thing. Most of the students didn’t pick up, what was going on, but one came to me afterwards and said: “What was that? I couldn’t understand him! He said, it was wrong, then he said, it was right, then he said it was wrong again..?!” So that is about the situation: There may be occasions, when it is the right thing to do…sometimes things happen, then it is the right thing. But if you try and do something like that, it is probably the wrong thing. So if you try to walk ground in this state where all you were aware of was the Divine Presence your life would become very unnatural. You would not be able to function in life. The things that you needed to purify - it is like you sit, and you hop in this state you are somehow transforming…so it is not something you should aim to do. It is better to have it in the background. This is remembering why you are here. It is remembering, what connects everything you do. So you go about your life, everything you do, you do the best way you can and in the background it the real Self, which is why you are here. And you can experience it through the sensing. That is when you experience it on that level, then the body is suddenly alive. You can experience it in the deep emotions and then suddenly the deep emotional world is alive. And that level would have been on the deep mental on that occasion.